Strengths and weaknesses
by Roz
Summary: Vulcans are inherently stronger then humans. Spock dreams the bridge scene again but instead of just nearly strangling Kirk, he accidently kills him. Friendship fic.


**Author: **Roz

**Title: **Strengths and weaknesses

**Summary: **Vulcans are inherently stronger then humans. Spock dreams the bridge scene again but instead of just nearly strangling Kirk, he accidently kills him. Friendship fic.

**Warning: **Rough/harsh language, death scene.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of this.

**A/N: **This is my first ever Star Trek story, I wrote it on the run while travelling overseas having seen the movie in Ireland. I'm really nervous bout this story as it centres around Spock, and I think he is the hardest to write. Pls let me know what you think.

******

He couldn't believe that he was back here again. Night after night, the same horrific scenario replayed itself through his mind. Why? There was no logical reason for this memory; for it had never happened.

He was back on the bridge and cadet Kirk was in his face, mouthing off. He tried to remain calm and keep his emotions under control but as Kirk ground out that he, "never loved her", a red mist came down, covering his eyes and numbing his brain. Before he knew it a roar of anger had been ripped from his mouth, his fist had clenched itself and his arm was swinging around.

The first punch caught the cadet on his side, the strength of the hit fracturing the young man's ribs instantly. The second one connected into his stomach and the human doubled over clutching his belly. The third reconnected with Jim's broken ribs, smashing them completely, the force pushing the fractured ends through his lungs. James Kirk cried out in pain and collapsed backwards onto the control panel.

Still Spock did not relent. He did not hear his father's command to halt nor did he see the blood trickling out of the young first officer's mouth. Nothing would penetrate the red cloud of hate.

The next punch broke the hapless man's nose, the next smeared the blood all over Jim's face and splattered blood over the Vulcan's uniform.

The crew of the Enterprise watched on in silent amazement and horror, the first to break the silence since Spock's father was Doctor McCoy.

"Stop it Spock! You're killing him!"

But the hybrid did not hear, only Kirk's hurtful words echoed through  
his head.

".....you never loved her!"

Another blow snapped Jim's head to the side, his eardrum rupturing in the process.

"....NEVER loved her....."

Jim's muffled cries of pain echoed throughout the bridge amongst the sound of fist hitting flesh.

"STOP IT DAMNIT!!"

Spock's erratic breathing and frenzied beating of his first officer was the only reply.

A audible 'crack' could be heard as Jim's jaw broke under another punch. The sound finally getting the half-Vulcan's attention.

He looked down with angry, lidded eyes and with something akin to a semi-comatose state, was slightly surprised to see cadet Kirk looking worse for wear beneath his hands.

Jim looked up at the Vulcan, fear swirling in his eyes, "S- Spock...please...."

But it wasn't enough to stop his final and fatal blow. The king-hit struck the stricken human just behind his dazed and pain-filled eyes. The punch hit a human's most vunerable spot, the temple. Something that Spock had unconsciously calculated.

"No Spock!!"

James T. Kirk's skull split open.

Jim opened his mouth, but nothing but a bloody gurgle came out. His hands scrabbled at Spock's collar, finally finding purchase and clinging on for dear life.

Suddenly, sound came rushing back to the acting-captain's ears. As did reality.

Spock looked down into a pair of quickly dimming azure eyes. He finally noticed the blood splattered across his uniform, across Kirk's face and.....covering his hands.

Jim gasped in pain as his body started to shut down, and the hybrid finally noticed the blood that the cadet was hacking up.

"Shit Spock, what have you done?"

Spock could not answer, for Jim had opened his mouth once more, a look of pained concentration on his face.

"S-Spock?" the question forced out of breathy lungs.

"Yes?" Spock found his voice uncharacteristically soft and broken.

"I-I'm sorry. A-about everything.....s'ry."

And with that, the young man's eyeballs rolled backwards into his head so that only the whites were showing and he slumped over sideways into a full blown seizure.

"**FUCK!** Get out of my way, you bastard!" Doctor McCoy unceremoniously shoved the acting-captain aside to get to his friend.

"Hold him down, DOWN I said!" McCoy furiously montioned the others to the ailing man's side.

Kirk thrashed about wildly on the floor, frothy pink bubbles spewing from his mouth, his body not responding to his friend's touch.

"Jim! Jim! Don't do this to me now.....c'mon, don't you dare!" Bones implored his friend, his doctor's hands feeling over Jim's body, his face paling at the horrific injuries he was finding.

Spock could only stare at his hands.

Suddenly, Kirk went limp, his eyes closed softly, and his chest became still.

"Shit! Shit! _**SHIT!**_ He's crashing....Damnit, is that cerebrospinal fluid leaking out of his head?!"

_His hands......_

"Chekov, make the call to sickbay. We have a code blue on the bridge, I repeat, a goddamn fucking code blue."

"Ves Doktor" the young Russian blanched as he placed the emergency call.

"Uhura, get me that damn crash cart...."

"He's no longer breathing doctor, and I can't find a pulse!"

"DAMNIT! Sulu, you take the breathing, I'll do the compressions."

"But doctor, what about his nose?"

"Just do the best you can for fuck's sake!"

_His hands......_

_Kirk's eyes......._

_What had he done?_

"Where's that goddamn crash cart?!"

"Right here doctor!"

Everything faded once more into the background. Spock could hear the erratic beeping of the monitors, attached to Jim's heart. Then suddenly, a single monotone, never ending tone.

"Kirk, NO!"

"Give me those goddamn paddles!"

The paddles were passed soundlessly to Bones. Tension and fear clouded the room, but the doctor only had eyes for his dying friend.

**"CLEAR!"**

_His hands, they were........_

"Nothing. Go again."

"**CLEAR!"**

"Still nothing."

**"CLEAR!"**

"Doctor McCoy.....there's nothing there...Bones, it's over....It's-"

"Don't you EVER call me that, and I said CLEAR DAMNIT!!"

Sorrowfully, Uhura's voice cut through Spock's fragile state of mind. "He's gone doctor."

"No, no, no, no, _NO_! Not this time, not this goddamn way!!"

"Doktor....."

"Goddamnit Jim, god-FUCKING-DAMNIT!!! Why? Why now??? FUCK YOU!!"

Uhura's soft voice again, "Bones...."

Suddenly, Spock finds himself pushed up against a wall roughly, and staring into Doctor McCoy's angry and grieving brown eyes.

"Are you happy now, you fucking hob-goblin? Are you? You finally got rid of him; you fucking _**KILLED**_ him. Jim's dead Spock. GODDAMN DEAD!"

Spock finds himself released and slides to the ground in defeat.

All he can see are his hands, bloodstained bright red and Jim Kirk looking up at him, sadness and fear in his eyes, the knowledge of his own death upon him, apologising to the very person who beat him to death.

With blue eyes quickly losing their light, contrasting starkly against his pale, bloody face; James Tiberius Kirk apologises to his own killer before dying.

And so, Spock murders James Kirk in hot blood.

*******

Spock snapped awake, feeling his heart hammering against his chest.

"Everything is as it should be, it was just a dream," he tells himself, "Captain Kirk is not dead, that situation did not occur."

But why does this dream plague him so? Every night. Same dream, same ending. It has not been long since Nero's defeat. Only a couple of days have passed, yet the dream will not leave him. There is still a week to go before the Enterprise reaches Earth for repairs, and Spock knows that he cannot continue having these dreams. Such a thing could render him unfit for duty via lack of attention caused by sleeplessness.

Or so he tells himself.

He swings his legs over the side of the bed, and sits there for a moment. With a sigh he rubs a hand over a tired face and stands up.

He has to go see the captain. Logic tells him that Kirk is fine and safe, but a deeper emotional need; one that he can't shake, makes him palm open his door and pad silently towards McCoy's quarters.

Since being smuggled aboard the Enterprise, and Pike back in his quarters, Jim had nowhere to sleep and as such, had commandeered Doctor McCoy's couch. Hardly befitting an acting captain's quarters but even the guest rooms were full of Vulcan refugees.

Spock stood outside the door, an unknown emotion making him hesitate. Why was he here? There was no need, everything was fine, wasn't it?

The door hissed open, startling Spock out of his reverie. He frowned slightly at the unlocked door, clearly Kirk had forgotten to lock it, a breach of the security protocol. Typical.

He stepped over the threshold, his eyes adjusting to the dim light of the room. The computer had simulated an Earth dawn, as the current time was approximately 5am. His eyes then travelled to the figure curled up on the couch, James T. Kirk.

Spock still wasn't sure of his feelings towards the young man. They had definately changed since their first unfortunate meeting but he wasnt sure into what. His older self had not hidden his affection for his Kirk and had even hinted of a great friendship between the two. This had just added to Spock's confusion - how had he gotten so emotionally attached to a human?

The human in question rolled over in his sleep and moaned softly. Spock glanced at McCoy's closed door, should he fetch the doctor? It was obvious that the captain was in pain, sleeping or not.

Before he could decide, Kirk's eyes snapped open, his body recognizing a foriegn presence within his personal space. Spock was shocked to say the least, he had not made any noise or moved from his position. The young human's body language suggested that it was struggling with it's fight or flee instinct. The suddenness of Jim's actions made Spock wonder what had happenned in his past to warrant such a primal instict. Kirk's eyes cleared slowly and his body relaxed as he blearily took in the figure of the half-Vulcan.

"S-spock? Is that you?" The vulcan could not help but wince slightly at the undercurrent of pain in Jim's voice. It sounded like his dream.

"Yes captain, it is I."

"It's Jim, Spock, not captain - _Jim_. Christ, what time is it?" Kirk sat up slowly, rubbing a bandaged hand over his bruised, tired face. Alarm flashed through his eyes, and he looked up with an expression close to panic, "Oh shit, have I slept through my shift? Crap, crap, _crap_. Not even a week in and I'm missing shifts aren't I? That's why you're here right? I'll bet there's some protocol somewhere that I'm breaking..."

"Indeed captain." Spock raised his eyebrow in response to the humans sleep-deprived babbling. "Your door was unlocked."

There was silence as Jim's sleepy brain processed the statement.

"My door was unlocked?....Hang on, you're not here to wake me for a shift?" Kirk was confused, naturally.

"No captain. It's currently 5am, you are not needed on the bridge for another four hours."

"What?! It's 5am? What the hell does 5am look like??"

Spock cocked his head, "I do not understand. What does the time of day have to do with it's appearance? Surely you mean-"

"What? Wait a minute, why are you here then?" Kirk shook his head, confused by it all.

Spock hesitated, something that Jim picked up on.

"C'mon Spock. You're obviously here for a reason, if you can't tell me who can you tell?"

"Well there are approximately 100 people on this ship, many who I am sure are receptive to listening-"

"Ok, now you're just stalling. Spit it out man!"

"I do not have anything contained within my mouth-"

"Tell me what you came here to say!" Jim replied exasperated, "Is it to do with my captaining ability? Is there another decision of mine that you wish to question? Please Spock, I just want to sleep..." Kirk threw his hands up in a surrendered position.

Spock lowered his head to look at the floor and quietly replied, "I just wanted to re-ascertain your physical well-being."

Jim stared at the hybrid shocked. "What?"

"I-I stopped by to confirm for myself that you were fit for duty."

"At 5 in the morning? You just woke up and wandered down at 5AM just to CHECK up on me?"

Spock glanced up and softly said, "Yes sir."

"Holy shit!" Jim exclaimed, rubbing his eyes again. "Wait until Bones hears this! What made you come down though?"

"I c-could not sleep." Spock stared ashamedly at the angry purple and red bruising encircling the captain's neck. "I dreamt about the bridge."

Jim sucked in breath. "Ah. Well y'know, the past is the past and we're all good now right?"

"You died."

"Huh?" Jim blinked at this statement. "Uh, Spock, I'm right here. I'm not dead because then that would mean you're talking to yourself, which would mean logically that you've gone insane. Not a good position to be in I believe."

"No, I was meaning within my dream. You died."

"Oh", Jim nodded, "That would make more sense. Out of curiosity, how?"

"I killed you."

Jim stilled momentarily before continuing, "Hmm. I wouldn't blame you, especially in that situation."

Spock smiled thinly, "That's what you said before you died."

Jim returned the smile, "Well then, at least your dreams are accurate in some sense. But rest assured, I am fine and alive. And did I mention tired? You should try to go back to sleep Spock."

The Vulcan nodded briefly before turning around to leave. He got to the doorway before Jim's voice called him back.

"Spock?"

"Yes captain?"

"Spock!" An exasperated tone this time.

"Allow me to apologize...yes Jim?"

Jim got up off the couch, hissing slightly at the pain from his broken ribs, and slowly walked over to the Vulcan.

Placing a hand on Spock's shoulder he spoke softly, "Look, I've been meaning to say this for a while and i guess now is as good as any - I'm sorry about everything. I didn't mean what I said on the bridge, it was a horrible thing for me to say and do. I truely am sorry. There is no need to worry about me. I am fine!" Jim grinned maniacally, then cocked his head while frowning slightly, "In fact it is I who should be checking up on you.......you know that you can always come to me, not only as your captain but also as your friend right?"

Spock nodded slowly then montioned to the bruising on Jim's neck, "I apologize also for the physical harm which I have caused you."

Jim laughed hoarsely while touching his neck, "This old stuff? Please. I still could've won. You were just lucky you had your father to hold me back."

"Jim, I am stronger then humans, I could have killed you." Spock's anguished voice made the captain drop his hand and sigh.

"And yet, you didn't. You let me go. You let _me go_ when you knew that you could end it. You are half human after all, and we tend to let our emotions control us at times. I mean, christ, look who you are talking to."

"You make a logical arguement."

"Just remember that you let me go, and everything worked out. No hard feelings. Not to metion I'm captain now!" Jim flashed his trademark cocky smile.

"Indeed. I am privileged." Was the dry response.

"Sleep Spock. It's another big day ahead." Jim turned back to his couch, snuggling back under the spare blanket that Bones had rustled up for him. "Oh, and thankyou."

"For what?"

"For caring," came the sleepy response. "Oh, and one more thing..."

Spock sighed, "Yes Jim?"

"Lock that damned door when you leave."

Spock tilted his head and smiled. "Of course captain."

"Damn you, it's Jim. **J-I-M!**" was the muttered reply that was drowned out by the closing door.

Spock stared momentarily at the closed door before heading back towards his quarters. The deep unknown swirling emotion was gone, and he smiled to himself; relieved at last.

Quiet in his room, Bones rolled over his bed, smiled and muttered to himself, "About goddamn time. Now go to sleep you morons."


End file.
